Wii Band

And then

we go

into a tunnel.

>>Wii band<<

snake, snake

snake, snake

excite.

excite.

Buh. Uhzzzzzzzz.

This is the book

it's a poem of stories

>We are Wii and we will rock you<

You come out on the other side

to find yourself

in another random story that has an

enviro-bent feel to it.

"We hired the band Wii for our office party, yeah, it was totally strange, but cool! No. It was really cool, I'm just now remembering..."

...hiccup in time...

"We thought they were just called Wii, but they actually played the Wii hooked up to amps. We were thinking, what the fuck!? We hired these people to play a video game?! No wait. It was right when Ermine was griping to me about the purchase of disposable salt and pepper grinders for the employee kitchen. She was saying, 'Nick, you know we could buy salt and pepper grinders and then fill them with bulk sea salt and peppercorns. You can't even REUSE these grinders! I just don't understand why someone would buy these! Nick?'

"Yeah?"

"Are you with me on this? Why do you think someone in this office would buy these?"

"Because someone made them for someone to buy?"

"Yes. Exactly. Where's the responsibility?! Where does it end?! These grinders, useless as they will be when they are empty will be with us forever!"

"Oh god! Where was I? Did I really go into all that? Anyways, it was right after all that Ermine noise that the band walked in with a bunch of cases that looked like instruments and amps. Oh man! No--Manny knew! That bastard! He let us nearly wet our pants! It's fear, I swear! Fear of being uncool. But who was to know that this band playing "instruments" from a video game would create a sound so sonic, synthetic, and pure?"

"Hmmmm. I'm going to have to check out one of their shows sometime."

"You absolutely must!"

"I'm going to talk to Ermine. See you later, Nick."

"Bye, Charlie! Where was I...."

Charlie left Nick to go on and on about whatever to the other employees that had gathered around and found Ermine in the office supply room.

"Hey, Ermine."

"Hey, Charlie."

"So I heard that band was pretty cool, eh?"

"Oh yeah, they were great! Amazing performance!"

"How? I mean, what was so spectacular?"

"Well, they had the full band Hero set-up and two DJ Hero decks----Hey, did you buy those disposable salt and pepper grinders for the employee kitchen?"

"No, but I know about them. Nick told me."

"It's irresponsible! How can we teach the manufacturers to not make this shit?! By not buying it! Jeez!"

"Ok, ok, calm down. You were telling me about the band."

Shaking off the disgust, she quickly switches back to her excitement of the office party band.

"Oh yes! I guess they had downloaded or recorded or maybe they created their own game, I don't know, but they had interesting music and sounds that they recorded and I guess put the game on the freestyle option and just jammed! I'm still unsure how they do it, but it was their own music, well, their own patchwork of obscure samples and found sounds."

She went back into her memory of the night and became animated as she found the words.

"The stage performance! Too cool! The coolest! Their dress was robotic like, but in metallic rainbow colors. And wigs! Oh, the wigs on the girl Wii D.J. and Wii guitarist reminded me of Michelle Meyrink in Real Genius, but more severe, and of course in colors of pink and blue. The singing was real avante garde--many sounds--like they were deaf mutes or cave people or babies, but with an authoritative and important urgency. I liked the hiccup song--real pop-y. I know everyone wants pop so bad, and I don't blame them. It feels good. It's funny that pop means something different now than just Popular music. It seems to relate more to the feeling of poppiness. Anyway, we were pleased with our decision to hire them and we invited them to party with us when their set was over. Real cool unusual group. You should've been there, Charlie!"

"I know! I tried, but I slipped down this tunnel and....."

Here we go again....

snake, snake

snake, snake

excite.

excite.

Fuh. Uhzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Stuck in the fuzz and buzz of static until the next story...

home movie

Merry X is for Xylophone!!

O-Ovah

Over and

crimson clover

crimson and clover

over and over

I can't imagine

what this song

must have sounded

like in 1968

It blows my

mind in 2009

Waste of Our Time [in editing]

[I am immediately putting this story, comment, post--whatever it is--in editing, cuz I see where I've quit or lost focus. I could add more about the singers. The title could reflect energy/singers. There could be one special singer that actively plays with her vocals to excite energy, like growling, singing from the belly vs. the throat, echoing the sound from the vocal chords off her cavernous mouth.. I don't know, I'm working on it, but I post it anyway to show that even though I'm underemployed, I am working--sort of.]

And scene....

A man walks into a theatre where a lone speaker is in the middle of his presentation behind a podium on the stage. In the seats, the audience represents a nucleus of serious people listening raptly centered in a wavy blob of wary individuals.

"...Energy Levels.

Singers.

Sound for energy.

Intricate harmonies producing sound.

Sure we can produce sound other ways: Banging on a drum, Car crash against a brick wall, hair spray can blowing up in a bon fire.

But why try to eliminate the human element?

Granted, humans do make a lot of waste. Each potential employee generates approximately 156 kg of waste quarterly. And yes, that is on their own time, but I don't want that responsibility on my conscience.

Every where we go we hear about going green or environmental awareness. I support this endeavor for the planet as a whole. I believe in interconnectivity and interdependence. Which brings me to why I am here. My company, Human Energy, has been in the energy business for 20 years and have expanded to something quite unique. How environmentally stable does energy from song sound? Pun intended and I apologize for it.

[A quick sputtering machine gun laughter decrescendos into muffled fairy laughs, then silence.]

Investors, you want to know the overhead. How much is one paid to sing? Will there be part-time gigs only? We have full-time singers that are the so-called work humans and then we have open rotating spots for part-timers. We have some employees that just sing some energy on their lunch break! Of course there are qualifications which determine salary. The qualifications are straight forward. How much energy can one produce? Each singer is entitled to a percentage of the energy revenue that each singer creates. Plus, each employee has a sliding scale, according to energy input, stake in Human Energy. What type of singers/employees do we employ? Perfect pitch is great, but we need those who understand harmonics as well. In our tests of output so far, we have noticed that a distinct assemblage of harmonics will produce the most quality energy. We are still improvising and expanding the benefits of constructive and deconstructive sound waves. We have found that some singers produce more energy and have adopted measures to protect these energetic individuals from overuse. Could you imagine, someday, someone, somewhere saying 'I love it when so and so's singing, my computer never runs better!'?

Of course, we became reborn with the potential reliance of the human element towards energy so we thought, why not use plain ole physicality to provide energy? You know what? We did! Bicyclists. That's right! We currently employ over 1000 bicyclists. Depending on the rider's strength, our bikes generate 300 watts at 12 to 25 volts DC.

Now, you are wondering how environmentally sound is a facility that houses that many stationary bikes, people, plus all those microphones and singers?! Yes, we thought of the crowd waste--I told you myself, I don't want that on my conscience--so we have made the majority of our jobs offsite or home based. We do have a stationary facility that houses the main computer and cell that converts sound/human kinetics to energy. In order to work from home, our employees are equipt with special microphones and bikes, both of which have stationary and portable capabilities, and are connected to our converter facility.

As you all are quite aware now, in fact, it's the main reason I get to talk to you today, that our contribution to the waste equals energy diagram is what put us on the map. We began this endeavor by utilizing energy from methane by capturing fumes exhausted by what? Yep, human waste--our local dumps. It's not everything and it won't solve the energy crisis--yet. Believe me, we humans are waste machines! But, I do believe every bit helps. However, if we can eventually repurpose most of our waste--we strive for 100%, mind you, then Human Energy won't have our CH4 from the dumps gig much longer.

With foresight, we are in the process of collecting leachate from landfills and creating different containers of sorts that will ring out all that this vile residual waste has to offer by squeezing every last bit of gas or whatever surprises we may find into use. Hopefully in this process, we will, at the very least, safely dispose or destroy this foul ingredient.

We also have other future plans to provide compostable toilets with a CH4 adapter energetic output to our employees. You know how I hate human waste on my conscience!

Anyways, we are Human Energy. Producing energy humanely through might, sound and waste. Thank you for listening."

Later refreshments are served in what one would suppose the theatre players would celebrate the cast party. A man we read about in the opening sentence gathers up the courage to talk to the man behind Human Energy.

"How did you get into this? I mean, what brought your passions into fruition?"

The man heartily laughed and with a salesman smile and a vaudevillian tone slurred, "I always say it started with a microscope!"

"No," his disposition turned genuine as he continued to chuckle, "the story is my mother gave me a microscope when I was really little--too little to have outdoor adventures. Still, I was drawn to the intricate instrument and wanted very much to use this precious gift. My first specimen was my own booger!," he flung his torso back to survey his audience expression, then straightened up and went on randomly, "then, you know, my earwax, wet and dry eye goo, plaque from morning mouth and after drinking sugary drinks, er, urine...and ahem, yes, even feces. In fact, when I was finished with all of my own output and also grown enough to venture outdoors, I delved into the exploration of other species output or waste. My dog, my cat, bird, squirrel, deer, rabbit, fish, caterpillar, some unidentifiables. I have quite a feces slide collection. It's so large that I had to create a library for them. I keep them in a special refrigeration unit I designed, otherwise, well, it would smell like shit!" After a quick guffaw, the speaker smiled sly eyes, leaned closer to his querier and under his breath he said, "I even collected some of my wife's menstrual blood." Then solomnly, looking his conversant in the eye, he soberly nodded, "with her permission, of course."

"Of course." garbled the uneasy listener, all of the sudden finding himself concentrating on his shuffling feet.

"It's important." declared the speaker as if clearing his throat and jolting awake from a drunken daydream only to fall quickly into his best philosophical persuasion, "to know the capabilities of an organism."

"You see, I started with the point source, me, and I'm slowly expanding from there. Plus," he added, "I love thinking that one day someone might actually be humming an energetic tune."

Humming an energetic tune.

Humming an energetic tune.

Oh, by Humman Energy

We're Hummin an energetic tune!

So Succulent

I think I did a bad thing, but I'm not sorry for it because it is so freakin' cute, cool and all together awesome! I opened a package I received. I noticed that it was from a flower company so....well, if it was a plant, I didn't want it to die! So, sorry Melanie, I found my bad ass hanging succulent terrarium and I planted and hung it immediately! Thank you! I can't stop looking at it--it's so pretty. Of course, curiosity ascended or descended, whichever, so you know I had to try to ID the succulent. It's a type of Haworthia and that's as far as I've gotten because the search led me to the coolest site which has diverted my attention, yet again, to an infatuation with succulents. Why am I so weird about plants? Check this site out if you have a chance--there are some really strange plants out there! My favorites so far are the Mesembs. There are some gorgeous succulent flicker pics out there too.


My succulent gift! Orbilicious!

Also, a couple story ideas popped up in my succulent brain and both are coincidentally about manipulation in order to entertain people. Strange. One is about The Actor who has to manipulate her feelings to everyone she sees. It is her duty or desire to give people what they want. The other is about The Toy Store that is run by a set of disembodied hands that manipulates objects of desire for consumers. Consumers will never become bored because The Toy Store is ever changing in giving them what they want. The entity employs consumer researchers to live like leaches on the pulse of changing desires.

I leave you with a little ditty that is sung in my house:

"So succulent, So succulent, So suck my little buttulent"

I still love this pic

...and the title, even though it's gross. :)

Prairie Doggin'

the people i'm not

Ariel Pink.

Fine Friday

this morning moon


What a beautiful Friday morning! Behind the glass of a much much warmer car it appeared to be so lovely outside you would never guess that it's freakin' freezing! Once I got into my neighborhood I let the sun shine on my face as it's rays skipped through the tree lined street.

I am Bartleby. I just am. Believe me. Only a piece of me, though, I am other people too. Woody Allen, Lucille Ball, Huey Lewis...who else? Oh, Rizzo from Grease. Cold showers everyday = throwing your life away. I think about her solo when I'm melancholy and getting ready to take a shower. Do I take a cold shower today? Throw it all away? I never take a cold shower. I think I should, though, cold showers are invigorating. Warm showers are probably more equal with throwing your life away--they are relaxing and make you sleepy. Warm showers are just prepping you for the big sleep? No. It's not one extreme or the other. They are both beneficial.

I want to remember, in writing, these two diners: Sanderson's Lunch and Nichols Lunch. They are no longer around. Sanderson's got demolished after it got closed down--possibly due to illicit drugs. Nichols closed, but luckily the building is still there and appears to be properly used. I went to Nichols twice, maybe a third time drunk. I wished I would have gone more, but it didn't happen. The look of the place was definitely awesome, if I were the type to frequent dining establishments, I would have stopped in more. I don't remember the food really, I'm sure it was good, but I just liked being there, and I was hoping to see William S. Burroughs.



Nichols Lunch wasn't as exciting to me as Sanderson's Lunch. Maybe there really were drugs there because I rabidly loved that place. I don't remember the food at Sanderson's either, well, except for ridiculous pork tenderloin sandwich that another customer ordered. The tenderloin a replicate of a dinner plate with the audacity to lie between two small hamburger buns. Sadly, I only a went a few times to Sanderson's too. One time around Halloween I saw a pale white woman wearing red with an enormous white blond beehive sitting next to a cardboard cut out of Gary Oldman's Dracula that was part of Sanderson's holiday decor.

It was hilarious how much they looked alike. I wanted to have a camera so bad that day!

A book about Sanderson's Lunch!


I'm off to do something productive. Have a fine Friday!

a little note about thanksgiving

I agree it was very inappropriate of me to keep a post up about toilets during Thanksgiving. Especially since it's the best and my favorite holiday. Celebrating thankfulness is alright by me.