Old story ideas

Because I have nothing new in my head right now...

This is based on something my friend, kt, came up with:


It sits upon a hill. It is there because the school house before it sat there. How I would dream that we actually lived in the old school house. Built in 1909; Burned down in 1947. The charm of the wooden school house with its boxy bronze bell tower is more significant than the flat local limestone brick new age modern grammar school that took its place. I know that the bell is bronze because it's sitting in Mabel's Museum located in one of the old classrooms.
Mabel refurbishes things. She found the first of them in our basement. The old bronze bell, the photos from the past, old ink wells, a slightly charred globe, etc. She's set up a museum to the history of our home. She is much older than us. Mom had her when she was 3 days shy of her 15th birthday. Now, don't go thinking that we are a bunch of hillbillies. Mabel was brought here in an attempt to save a life. Our mother grew up in the mountains. She and her childhood friend, Marvin Maybee were trapped after an avalanche. The only way the two saw fit to survive was to create heat with their bodies. As much younger children they explored each others bodies in games of doctor and house, so it was fitting that their first sexual experience was to be with each other, well that's what mom always says. But it was their last. Well, it was Marvin Maybee's last. He didn't die a virgin and he managed to keep the Maybee bloodline going. This was very important to his parents for Marvin was to be the last surviving Maybee. Now Mabel Zircon Maybee is the last surviving Maybee. Zircon is the mountain on which she was conceived.
As I was saying, our house sits on a hill and as you may have surmised, we live in an old grammar school. You know that Mabel and I like old things. I dream of the past and Mabel resurrects it. I'm not sure if Mabel knows it, but she creates my perfect environment. I spend hours in her museum pretending to live in the past.
As a matter of fact, I'm sitting on a rug Mabel found in the grounds keeper's shed imagining being read a story whilst sitting by the pot belly stove. Well, I'm trying to concentrate on that, but I keep looking at one of Mabel's recent acquisitions, I'm not sure what it was used for--oh, here comes Mabel--she's carrying something.

"Fauna, what are you doing?"

She knows what I'm doing, so I won't answer, but "What did you find Mabel?"

"I'm not sure yet, I need to study it further."

Waste of Our Time [in editing]

[I am immediately putting this story, comment, post--whatever it is--in editing, cuz I see where I've quit or lost focus. I could add more about the singers. The title could reflect energy/singers. There could be one special singer that actively plays with her vocals to excite energy, like growling, singing from the belly vs. the throat, echoing the sound from the vocal chords off her cavernous mouth.. I don't know, I'm working on it, but I post it anyway to show that even though I'm underemployed, I am working--sort of.]

And scene....

A man walks into a theatre where a lone speaker is in the middle of his presentation behind a podium on the stage. In the seats, the audience represents a nucleus of serious people listening raptly centered in a wavy blob of wary individuals.

"...Energy Levels.

Singers.

Sound for energy.

Intricate harmonies producing sound.

Sure we can produce sound other ways: Banging on a drum, Car crash against a brick wall, hair spray can blowing up in a bon fire.

But why try to eliminate the human element?

Granted, humans do make a lot of waste. Each potential employee generates approximately 156 kg of waste quarterly. And yes, that is on their own time, but I don't want that responsibility on my conscience.

Every where we go we hear about going green or environmental awareness. I support this endeavor for the planet as a whole. I believe in interconnectivity and interdependence. Which brings me to why I am here. My company, Human Energy, has been in the energy business for 20 years and have expanded to something quite unique. How environmentally stable does energy from song sound? Pun intended and I apologize for it.

[A quick sputtering machine gun laughter decrescendos into muffled fairy laughs, then silence.]

Investors, you want to know the overhead. How much is one paid to sing? Will there be part-time gigs only? We have full-time singers that are the so-called work humans and then we have open rotating spots for part-timers. We have some employees that just sing some energy on their lunch break! Of course there are qualifications which determine salary. The qualifications are straight forward. How much energy can one produce? Each singer is entitled to a percentage of the energy revenue that each singer creates. Plus, each employee has a sliding scale, according to energy input, stake in Human Energy. What type of singers/employees do we employ? Perfect pitch is great, but we need those who understand harmonics as well. In our tests of output so far, we have noticed that a distinct assemblage of harmonics will produce the most quality energy. We are still improvising and expanding the benefits of constructive and deconstructive sound waves. We have found that some singers produce more energy and have adopted measures to protect these energetic individuals from overuse. Could you imagine, someday, someone, somewhere saying 'I love it when so and so's singing, my computer never runs better!'?

Of course, we became reborn with the potential reliance of the human element towards energy so we thought, why not use plain ole physicality to provide energy? You know what? We did! Bicyclists. That's right! We currently employ over 1000 bicyclists. Depending on the rider's strength, our bikes generate 300 watts at 12 to 25 volts DC.

Now, you are wondering how environmentally sound is a facility that houses that many stationary bikes, people, plus all those microphones and singers?! Yes, we thought of the crowd waste--I told you myself, I don't want that on my conscience--so we have made the majority of our jobs offsite or home based. We do have a stationary facility that houses the main computer and cell that converts sound/human kinetics to energy. In order to work from home, our employees are equipt with special microphones and bikes, both of which have stationary and portable capabilities, and are connected to our converter facility.

As you all are quite aware now, in fact, it's the main reason I get to talk to you today, that our contribution to the waste equals energy diagram is what put us on the map. We began this endeavor by utilizing energy from methane by capturing fumes exhausted by what? Yep, human waste--our local dumps. It's not everything and it won't solve the energy crisis--yet. Believe me, we humans are waste machines! But, I do believe every bit helps. However, if we can eventually repurpose most of our waste--we strive for 100%, mind you, then Human Energy won't have our CH4 from the dumps gig much longer.

With foresight, we are in the process of collecting leachate from landfills and creating different containers of sorts that will ring out all that this vile residual waste has to offer by squeezing every last bit of gas or whatever surprises we may find into use. Hopefully in this process, we will, at the very least, safely dispose or destroy this foul ingredient.

We also have other future plans to provide compostable toilets with a CH4 adapter energetic output to our employees. You know how I hate human waste on my conscience!

Anyways, we are Human Energy. Producing energy humanely through might, sound and waste. Thank you for listening."

Later refreshments are served in what one would suppose the theatre players would celebrate the cast party. A man we read about in the opening sentence gathers up the courage to talk to the man behind Human Energy.

"How did you get into this? I mean, what brought your passions into fruition?"

The man heartily laughed and with a salesman smile and a vaudevillian tone slurred, "I always say it started with a microscope!"

"No," his disposition turned genuine as he continued to chuckle, "the story is my mother gave me a microscope when I was really little--too little to have outdoor adventures. Still, I was drawn to the intricate instrument and wanted very much to use this precious gift. My first specimen was my own booger!," he flung his torso back to survey his audience expression, then straightened up and went on randomly, "then, you know, my earwax, wet and dry eye goo, plaque from morning mouth and after drinking sugary drinks, er, urine...and ahem, yes, even feces. In fact, when I was finished with all of my own output and also grown enough to venture outdoors, I delved into the exploration of other species output or waste. My dog, my cat, bird, squirrel, deer, rabbit, fish, caterpillar, some unidentifiables. I have quite a feces slide collection. It's so large that I had to create a library for them. I keep them in a special refrigeration unit I designed, otherwise, well, it would smell like shit!" After a quick guffaw, the speaker smiled sly eyes, leaned closer to his querier and under his breath he said, "I even collected some of my wife's menstrual blood." Then solomnly, looking his conversant in the eye, he soberly nodded, "with her permission, of course."

"Of course." garbled the uneasy listener, all of the sudden finding himself concentrating on his shuffling feet.

"It's important." declared the speaker as if clearing his throat and jolting awake from a drunken daydream only to fall quickly into his best philosophical persuasion, "to know the capabilities of an organism."

"You see, I started with the point source, me, and I'm slowly expanding from there. Plus," he added, "I love thinking that one day someone might actually be humming an energetic tune."

Humming an energetic tune.

Humming an energetic tune.

Oh, by Humman Energy

We're Hummin an energetic tune!

Scratchin'

The story that I'm writing has a Faust twist. My main character runs a drive-thru that serves anything desired. Here are the ways he obtains his customers' requests:
A horn of plenty, because I have always liked that image and I also have a weird thing about it (I was a dreamy kid).
An orchard, I always wanted an orchard and my mom's grandma had one. A wolf chased my mom and her sister up a fruit tree in that orchard. It was a terrifying tale. But I can't tell it--she has to.
The last way my character achieves in his business is by time travel.
He obtains the horn of plenty and the quantum power from Cecil the Devil whom only asks for one request. Not for my character's soul, but for something. That's all he knows of it. It could come out of nowhere, it could last forever.
A bargain for the power to satisfy customers.
The orchard provides my character's only means of self sufficiency.
Dr. Zorba a man of intimidating intellect finds my character and uses him to bring desired artifacts of our great mysteries. Tactfully pushing my character further and further towards the edges of time. He wants to know something. Is that him following my character through time? The doctor's constant thirst proves too much for my character's body which changes into a static magnetic opposite. Matter is flipped and he can't change it back. He floats through puzzles of familiar objects and finally finds a friend or a person just as crazed for the answers as Dr. Zorba.
Margot Brungardt is a bright, nervous daydreamer willing to sacrifice her life to reach the pinnacle of knowledge. She is intrigued by my character's plight. What kind of knowledge is the best knowledge? Everything or yourself?