show me the way to the next whiskey bar

Happy Halloween Kiddies!

I see you.

DVR of Desire

I watched the middle part of Botany Desire on PBS last night. I DVRd it so I can watch the whole thing later. I saw the end of apple/sweetness, all of tulip/beauty and cannabis/intoxication and the beginning of potato/control. What I saw was really good--it seemed to hold true to the book, but it was really nice to see it visually. I also DVRd Harold and Maude!!!! I'm so excited to watch it!

Here is a list and thoughts that I wrote down while I was watching Botany of Desire:

Tulips:
Kazakhstan
What came first? The flower or the bee?
Traveled from Central Asia to Turkey
Sultan of the Ottoman Empire=Tulip freak
Tulip Mania-Dutch Tulip freaks
Semper Augustus caused the mania
The reaction of atmosphere to earth
Minerals to weather build geometric flora?

Cannabis:
Except it
No more wars against it
Use it
Manage it
Examine it

13 35 Cliff Drive

That's where the Evil Dr. Markoff lives. 13 35 Cliff Drive, you say? Yeah that's right, 13 35 Cliff Drive. Someone associated with the 1944 movie The Monster Maker was seriously trying to hammer this address home. 13 35 Cliff Drive. In the fogginess of half pre-sleep dream while watching Boris Karloff in The Ape, the sing-song rhyme of "13 35 Cliff Drive" ran like a loop in my head. 13 35 Cliff Drive. What was I saying? Oh yeah, that's where Dr. Igor Markoff lives. Who's Dr. Markoff? Well, don't you know? He's a doctor that is the upmost authority on glandular diseases, especially one called Acromegaly. Acromegaly, that's right, he keeps a bottle of it in a hidden compartment in his lab on 13 35 Cliff Drive. Acromegaly appears to be an excuse to show off someone's killer make-up skills--pretty good for a low budget, 1940's movie.



Dr. Markoff injects a gifted Pianist with Acromegaly in order to have an upper hand towards nuptial negotiations with the Pianist's daughter. The movie was okay, good prevailed over evil and it kept my attention, which is more than I can say for poor Boris in The Ape, in all fairness, though, that could have had to do with it being late. And that damn incessant 13 35 Cliff Drive roaming through my brain.

I like watching scary movies right before Halloween. So far I've watched; The Manitou, Hot Fuzz, Sleepy Hollow, Dracula and the two mentioned above. I'll probably watch Shaun of the Dead, The Mummy and The Haunting. I think it would be cool to watch Shadow of the Vampire and Nosferatu back to back. I have a 50 Movie Pack of Horror Classics, where The Ape and The Monster Maker came from, so I have plenty of old fashioned horror to keep me feeling spooky. Killer Shrews anyone?

Noted:

Poison Ivy plant dropped its bottom leaves; only a few at the top remain. Fall coloring: Yellow.

Freaky Friday

I came upon "The Amazing Dunninger" while reading about Soupy Sales (R.I.P.) in Wikipedia. Harry Houdini and Thomas A. Edison gave Dunninger secret codes, which were to be used for contact after their death, in order to investigate the possibility of communication with spirits. I'm already in love with him!

On thought reading:

"You pick up a vivid impression from another mind and others follow or suggest themselves. But it isn't mind-reading; it is thought reading. When a series of such thought impressions come in fairly close in succession, it takes on the semblance of mind reading, though if you check back, you may find that you have added links of your own making, just as you might piece together the fragments of a dream to form a waking continuity." --Joseph Dunninger, mentalist


Read about him here.

The First Lady whizzes barefoot through obstacle course

This article made me laugh.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33417821/ns/today-white_house/

Lately...

I'm not feeling very creative at the moment--again--but in order to keep blogging, I give you my life lately in pictures. I can see now why my imagination has dried out--what the fuck kind of life is this?! At least I find pleasure in nature--even if it's only as far as my backyard.

Slug Circle

This has been the summer of leopard slugs. Every time I see them they are having sex.

This big ass preying mantis was in my screened porch! Amazing! I love preying mantis. I had a hard time capturing the coolness and size of it--so you will just have to suffer through these crappy photos to get the jist.






Me and my crazy hand (and bad hair--I need a haircut already!) with a fan of Pink Star Tulip plant markers


Nate and I planted more flower bulbs. We planted:
Gipsy Queen Hyacinths (Dark Orange)
Mount Tacoma Double Tulips (White)
Grueze Tulips (Purple)
Rococo Parrot Tulips (Mostly Red)
Pink Star Double Tulips (Pink)

I looked up Don Knotts today

HAVE A GREAT DAY!

R.I.P.

The Yeti Anniversary

We thought the first year of marriage was the Yeti Anniversary.

Freaky Friday

image of Boy and His BBQ pig bus

Our team, Bearhand BBQ, entered our first ever BBQ Competition at the American Royal last weekend. We have lots of room for improvement, but we know what we did wrong. However, it was a great experience and I'm feeling good about our potential.

Categories Competed In:

Chicken

Pork

Ribs

Brisket

Beans

Stats forthcoming....

The lovely husband graciously modeling our team sweatshirt.
My strong-wristed, talented littlest sister created our logo.

I'm in love with the campfire "A"! (click on the pic to see)

Please Don't Be Long

please don't you be very long

Know Your Mushrooms!

I just saw this movie and it was great! To those who aren't interested in human history of the altered mind, only a bit of it has to do with hallucinogenic mushrooms. The coolest part was about the idea of a fungal membrane or network that grows throughout the earth's crust and serves as some type of nervous system(!). Mushrooms are also being used for bioremediation! I'm so excited about this movie, I'm thinking of going to the Telluride Mushroom Festival next year!!

By the way, if you are interested in altering your mind, maybe you can go to outer space and find the fireplace near the Andromeda Galaxy.

Vic Vinegar

Vic Vinegar of Honey and Vinegar Real Estate. The Real Estate

team that uses "Good cop, Bad cop" philosophy.

Draft Flashbacks

I got nothin. I'm out. I'm wiped. S'okay, it's not permanent. I decided to venture into "Edit Posts" and check out the Drafts I've left along the way. The posts below are probably not suppose to see the light of the internet, but I feel like posting them anyway. I did manage to comment a little on each Draft post. Enjoy?

An Idea for a Conceptual Art Play

Spices mixed with herbs

Herb mixed with spices

It's time to go down stairs

Make an appearance

We feel special and famous

Everyone does

We take the stairs

Emerging from the staircase,

we open our smokey eyes to light

and a darkness in the freight elevator shaft

The lift is on the first floor

Thermiu and Andiwin hold on to the wooden gates

and look down to the top of the elevator

Slowly their eyes climb up, taking in all the movement below

"There's a pretty big crowd this time."

"Yeah!"

"It's so cool to look down the shaft and hold onto the gate."

"I know! This would be a cool stage setting in a play."

"Yeah! Yes! It really would!"

The guys are looking around the art studios trying to find

something to drink.

"This is little mama's studio. She comes over and lifts up her skirt for a blue."

"Whoa, really Wic? That's messed up."

Runs on Farnsworth Rays

Appropriately enough, one of Artie's gizmos is a video communicator dubbed "The Farnsworth:"

“This is basically a video cellphone and it was invented by Philo Farnsworth, the unrecognized inventor of television,” Simkins says. “We imagined that Philo invented it one weekend in 1929, it worked, and it’s been in the warehouse ever since. One reason they still use it is that the technology is so old, no one can hack it. It’s not digital. I don’t even know what it runs on but it’s untraceable because the Farnsworth exists totally off the grid.”


I don't remember where I found this, but I believe it was in an article in either msnbc or wikipedia. I don't remember who Artie is..........

Problem Complexities

The time it takes to solve a problem is a measure in the problem's complexity.

How complex is your problem?

I had a problem. So I looked up problem.
I think I got this from wikipedia.

drug thoughts

Okay. Hmmmmm..... Making people safe from drugs..... What's the drug problem? Killings. Miserable Humans. Problem. Sick people trying to make them selves better. Drug users are sick people trying to make themselves feel better. Only to turn themselves sicker. How to care for sick people that made themselves sicker? This is the question. Looking for more chemicals to make sick people better. Places to dry up and shake off. Best choice can't be jail. Sounds like a medical problem.

Customer drives the market. No more customers....No more Market?

No more Market, no more sellers? Probably not....but, maybe less killings?

So, COMBAT is not making people safe from drugs by taking people to jail who are sick that made themselves sicker.

Dealers.....what are words to describe them?

It depends on the drug and circumstance.

No More Illegal Drugs.

No More Sick people in Jail.

A local commercial irritated me.

Fascism

from Wikipedia: Fascist movements promote violence between nations, political factions, and races as part of a social Darwinist and militarist stance that views violence between these groups as a natural and positive part of evolution.

What makes these movements think that they are the catalyst to evolution and destruction?

Just in case I forget.

The TOO long, never finished "review"--read at your own risk!

I watched Logan's Run a couple nights ago. I can't say it was spectacular, but I can't say I don't like it. I think I can say I possibly love it. The film is based on a book of the same name. I love the 1976 visual effects--there is an element of Star Trek in it that is comforting. Set in 2274, the movie begins with the camera panning over a domed city or actually, an obvious miniature set. Eventually the camera rests on a baby hand with a white diamond in it. When the inhabitants of this city reach the age of 30 they must go to the carosel and be whisked up and evaporated so that they can be renewed. While these poor souls are getting killed, the theater of youngsters around them are cheering them on, chanting "Renew!" Sometimes there are people who try to get out of renewing and decide to run. Logan 5 is a Sandman, whose job is to catch these runners and zap them with this crazy inaccurate gun. Once they finally zap the runner they call for clean up and a person in a flying armoured segway looking thing comes and pours something that looks like the stuff janitors use to clean up puke over the dead body which, in a few seconds, disentegrates the remains completely. Oh don't the janitors of the present wish they had this stuff!
Then we get to see how these people of the future live their lives at home. Logan 5 is dressed in this hilarious kimono relaxing in his futuristic pad. He saunters over to this enclave in his living room and checks what they call the circuit. At first a man appears and he laughs and shakes his head no. Then a scantily clad female finds herself in Logan's love lair. She is rockin' this enormous ankh pendant on a choker. He is ready for love, but she is not. He wonders why she was on the circuit, she thinks she was mistaken. Logan's friend and fellow Sandman, Francis, busts into the living space with two swinging chicks. The ankh girl leaves. Logan looks after her, but then his attention is turned toward his friend and the two foxy ladies. Francis throws some red dust in the air covering the gang and they raise their faces up to the dust in a lustful fashion.
Back at work, Logan gets an assignment from a computer. The computer has a female voice. She tells him that there is a place called Sanctuary and that is where he will find some runners that have successfully escaped. The computer shows him the ankh symbol and tells him basically that this is the key to find Sanctuary. Then he gets the most unsettling news that he must act as a runner in order to infiltrate the society of this underground movement. To his dismay the computer turns his life clock (the jewel in his hand) from red to blinking red, meaning it's his time to renew. He fears for his life when he asks if he finds Sanctuary will his life clock be turned back. For chrissake he has 4 more years! The computer goes blank.
Logan hides his blinking life clock and decides to find the ankh girl. He realizes that she can lead him to Sanctuary. Ankh girl meets him, her name is Jessica 6. He shows her that he's a runner and her eyes grow wide. He asks her about Sanctuary and she sorta feigns ignorance. In the middle of this exchange, Logan gets a call on his 1970's space age walky-talky. There's a runner at the plaza. The plaza is in the bad part of town where children under 16, called the cubs, live. Without parents, these cubs are left free to brutalize, rob and basically live like savages. Jessica 6 decides to go with Logan to catch the runner. While gliding in a pneumonic tube shuttle system, they talk about society's ills and Jessica waxes philosophical that she wishes that she knew her mother. They find the runner in the Plaza and Logan lets the runner go. Unfortunately, Logan's friend and fellow Sandman, Francis, got the same call and got to the Plaza just in time to see Logan letting the runner go. Francis did not follow suit and begins the chase of his friend turned runner. For some reason, my husband and I couldn't figure it out, Logan decides he has to get a new face. Jessica takes him to a doctor she knows. Farah Fawcett-Majors is the doctor's secretary. She is, like, far out.

Even though the doctor is on Jessica's/Runner's side he decides to let the lasers go haywire all over Logan. Logan escapes miraculously and the doctor ends up getting lasered to death. Farah is in shock and hovers over the doc with tears in her eyes. Jessica and Logan again start their run. Francis as always, is just behind them. Somehow they decide that the way to Sanctuary is through the sex shop. They get separated for a second by writhing naked people; the women take Logan, the men take Jessica. Logan and Jessica make some kind of communication through eye contact and slight head movements and they get away. Ah! They were right! The way to Sanctuary is through the sex shop! They enter a frozen room and meet a robot--oh, strike that, an android that looks like a poorly made robot. His name is Box. Box freezes all the seaweed, fish and other food that comes in (it's never explained who brings in the food to Box) for the inhabitants of the city. Well, Box used to freeze the food, until the food stopped coming. The only thing that came after while were the runners so Box froze them instead. Looks of horror from Jessica and Logan at their frozen comrades. Does that mean that the people of the city were eating people? Soylent Green is pee-pul!! They never say. Logan is the only runner to have a gun so he uses it on Box and the place explodes. Logan and Jessica narrowly escape the see-through ice crystal special effects. Here comes Francis and this is last we see of him for awhile (he must run like the 6 million dollar man). An opening out of the dome! Also, Logan doesn't believe in Sanctuary any more, he thinks that Sanctuary was built on belief and hope. Jessica doesn't agree and thinks that this new warm place must be Sanctuary. They find a lake, get naked and skinny dip. They look at their life clocks. What?! Ha! They are renewed! Wow!

After trampling many miles through an overgrown forest, they see, well, they see the Lincoln Memorial, overgrown with weeds, of course. The two look at the statue of Lincoln and wonder aloud that this. must. be. what. it. looks. like. to. be. old. (Kind of Capt. Kirk like). They see tombstones and wonder what they are. They wander into the US Congress Chambers. They hear a sound. In walks Peter Ustinov as a scraggly old man. He talks in T.S. Eliot cat riddles and conveniently has a lot of cats. Jessica asks him if his wrinkles or the cracks on his face hurt. She asks to touch them. Ustinov obliges and giggles when she touches him. They start asking him more questions. Whoa! He doesn't have a life clock. Wow! He knows his mother and father.

lesson plan for kids: A Study on George Washington Carver

Make peanut butter--describe that all nuts can be used to make "butter", mention the oils in nuts
History on GWC
Plant peanut plants, if possible in garden and one to take home.
Describe legumes and the nitrogen cycle
Go outside and find legume plants
Draw diagram of peanut plant or legume plant of their choice.
Read a book about GWC

Math in the Morning--find record that Mr. Marks used for times tables, chalkboard challenges


I'm sure that this is already done--I don't have kids, what the hell do I know!

Mr. Marks Rocks!

I want to work at Marr Sound Archives

Yeah, I do.

A Rational Approach

Good article about the US's 37th ranking in World Health Care.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32898477/ns/health-health_care/

Ya see? It's not so bad, relax.

Charley Harper

I love this artist and the way he described his art: "minimal realism".





"When I look at a wildlife or nature subject, I don’t see the feathers in the wings, I just count the wings. I see exciting shapes, color combinations, patterns, textures, fascinating behavior and endless possibilities for making interesting pictures. I regard the picture as an ecosystem in which all the elements are interrelated, interdependent, perfectly balanced, without trimming or unutilized parts; and herein lies the lure of painting; in a world of chaos, the picture is one small rectangle in which the artist can create an ordered universe." -Charley Harper

Hey! Wow!

from msnbc:

"Czech Premier Jan Fischer told reporters that Obama phoned him overnight to say that "his government is pulling out of plans to build a missile defense radar on Czech territory."

"The same happened with Poland. Poland was informed in the same way about this intention," Fischer said."

maybe President Obama read my blog....HA! This is good news--so far.

Sacred Cow

Here's something I was working on, but lost interest, the plot, the ending, the point:


Khavi Shirinam moved to Bovine to escape threat in his homeland of India. The town of Bovine was chosen by Khavi's father for the sacred cow. "Surely, the village of Bovine is a welcome sign for you, Khavi" assured Bothi, his father. "Your family will be safe. You must go now."
"I will go, father." Khavi tried to hide his eyes and puffed his chest in courage.
"Go, my son. Don't look back."
So Khavi sailed in a fishing vessel out of the bay of Bengal and into the Indian Ocean eastward to the Pacific.
Shuffle. Shuffle. Shuffle around things are garbled and we just seem to know that somehow we got there.
The bus stopped at the edge of an intersection of gravel and dirt road.
"I will go the dirt road." decided Khavi.
He started off through the picture perfect perspective of symmetrical road, ditch, wire fence, staggered trees and pink sky.
After walking for sometime, Khavi came upon a thicket of trees on one side of the road. He barely passed it when he heard a noise in the thicket. His startled senses activated his curiosity. He moved closer to see more closely a beast sawing his cud. Khavi stared in disbelief. What is this? Is this cow? It must be, yet it is almost unrecognizable, thought Khavi before declaring aloud, "Such enormous cow beasts they have in Bovine!"
The beast snorted and the weather changed.
"My! Such big cows must mean big things for me," glowed Khavi, "Maybe father was right."
He passed onward with a growing interest in his new, but temporary home.


"K-huh-Ay-vee Shhhrrr-naam?"
"I don't know how to pronounce his name, Sam. I'm just telling you we are expecting a dormer tonight. Now go upstairs and put in a lightbulb for our guest."
Sam frowned a smile and let out an inquisitive "Hmmh," like, "Well, I'll be," but he never said those words.
Sam didn't say much around his wife. It wasn't that she was overbearing he just preferred her voice to his and thought the air was happier having her sound waves bounce off of it.
The Swearingens didn't have much use for lightbulbs. They used candles and kerosene mostly, if ever. Once god put the light out it was time to sleep to have the energy to work god's land all over again.
"I'm making tea, savory cakes and apple sauce for our guest when he arrives. If he's hungrier, I can make a cold beef sandwich from tonight's supper."
Dust on his bald head, Sam peaks in the kitchen to encourage, "that sounds just fine, hun."
Ida glances over to see his dusty head. Eyes sparkling and a flat line smile, she muffles a laugh and shakes her head.
"You wonderful man."
"What?" Sam does his best boyish grin and leans forward to softly grope his wife and pulls his self close to her to close his eyes and kiss her hair. Ida smiles. We still love each other she thinks to herself.
A knock at the door changes their pose.
"It must be K-ha-vee," sings Sam as he dances goofily towards the door.
Ida widens her gaze, blushes in laughter which influenced a Lauren Bacall nose flare. "Relax, Sammy. He's from India, don't scare him."
"India?" as the astonishment fizzled, "Huh!"
Drunk off the moment in the kitchen Sam swings open the door grandly to smile upon a little brown man with big sad eyes and a serious mouth.
"You must be K-ha-vee."
"Yes, I am Khavi. And you are Mr. Swearingen?"
"Please! Call me Sam. Welcome! Come in K-havi, comin!"
"Thank you, sir--Sam. I am very thankful for your hospitality."
"Oh think nothing of it. It gives Ida and I a change in routine. Visitors are good for she and I."
Khavi took in the view from the entrance of the grand home. Gracefully, Ida floats across the room in focus.
Glistening smile and ruby red lips she spoke a slight lilt of a familiar dialect.
"Welcome, Khavi. I'm Ida Swearingen. Make yourself comfortable. Would you like some tea and something to eat?"
"If it is no trouble to you. It was a long journey to reach such comfort."
"Why thank you, Khavi," beamed Ida, "It's a very fine compliment to know you find our humble abode comfortable. I'll be back with some refreshments. Sam, please take Khavi's things and set them in the foyer. We'll deal with them later. Show Khavi the den and the bathroom, if he needs to wash up, and we will all meet back in the den. Do you want a beer, dear?"
"Why shore, Ida. How 'bout you K-havi? Care for a beer?"
"Tea will be plenty for now. Perhaps later, thank you."
Khavi followed a man so robust and substantial that with every step the walls and furniture around him squeeked and bowed. Jarring, thought Khavi.
"The loo is here, K-havi," as he flicked on the light. "Ida set some towels up for you. Feel free to freshen up and I'll see you in the den."
"Thank you, Sam."
Khavi closed the door and turned on the tap. Cool water flowed through his finger tips as he looked at his face in the mirror above the sink. Tired eyes and dusty, he splashed a cupped handful on his road weary face.
Khavi stepped in the den as Ida was setting tea, cakes and something else and a beer for Sam on the coffee table.
"Oh sit right here, K-havi, this is the best seat in the house. I made some savory cakes and I thought you might enjoy some cool applesauce made from apples from our orchard."
"You have an orchard?"
Khavi's interest was peaked. He had worked in the village orchard since he was a child.
"I am very familiar with the business of orchards."
"Is that so, K-havi?," leaned in Sam, "The orchard is Ida's territory. We bought the house because of it. Well, that and the 1000 acres."
"Mrs. Swearingen, you wanted the orchard?"
"Yes, K-havi, I grew up with one."
Khavi revealed some of his past with the Swearingens and as his story was told, bits of their stories came out. Ida seemed oddly familiar with Khavi's homeland as she nodded slightly in agreement.
"Did you ever go to India, Mrs. Swearingen?"
"It's Ida, Khavi...and no, but I have read a lot about it."
"Ida is Bovine's unofficial authority on India, K-havi."
Ida had never revealed to anyone about her childhood. She was actually born in India. Her parents were English colonists. They were killed by a tiger and left her an orphan at an early age. She lived with her neighbors and their son who was her age until she went to a boarding school. She was embarrassed of her past and once she was 18, she sailed to America on a similar path that Khavi took.
"How did you decide to come to Bovine, Khavi?" Sam eased in the conversation and broke apart Ida's thoughts.
"My father made the arrangements. He thought the name of your village was a good sign."
"Bovine a good sign? That is interesting!"
"Yes, in my country the cow is sacred."
"Heh! The cow's sacred in my country too!"
"It is?" Khavi's eyes lit in sympathy.
"Well, yes. I live and die by the cow."
"Yes. Yes. I suppose that is so in my culture."
"Idn't that something, K-havi. How the world is?"
"Yes. The interconnection is remarkable."
"Speaking of..." Ida smiled at them both and rose before she asked Khavi if he'd like some more to eat and that it was really no trouble for her.
Khavi didn't want to impose, but he had saved all his money along the way and only ate from the bread his mother and sister baked for him (bjork :)). He was famished.
"Please, Ida, if you would, thank you."
"Khavi, it's really no trouble at all. I'm glad you said so. I'll bring you in a hearty sandwich." and her skirt whooshed by the coffee table.
"You like beef?"
Khavi turned his head up and over towards Sam. "What is beef?"
"You know, meat."
"Ah, yes. meat. I like it very much."
"Well, you're in for a treat then."
"Oh, thank you, Sam."
"Sure. Say, what do you plan to do while you're here?"
"I will find work."
"What kind of work are you looking for?"
"I am used to farm work."
"And on the orchards, right?"
"Yes."
"I like you, Khavi. I think you should start work with me for awhile and see if you like it."
"I would like that very much, Sam. Thank you for the opportunity."
"Then it's settled. Come see me in the field in the afternoon after you have slept, ate and have nothing more to do."
"You are gracious. Thank you. I accept your invitation."
"You accept my invitation!" Sam fondly mocked "That's a good one, Khavi, I'm going to use that one."
"Okay, sure." Khavi continued to smile as Ida whizzed to his side and descended a heavenly plate of food on the coffee table in front of him. "Oh, wonderful. Thank you, Ida."
"You're welcome, Khavi. Sam, please put on some jazz for us. I'm going to get you another beer. Khavi? Would you like one now?"
Wiping aside some mustard with his napkin he answered with a nod.
"Oh good. We'll have a little party before bedtime," chattered Ida as she breezed by and twirled out the room.
Did I tell you that you have nice hair? I didn't think that you would be this fair. Oh love-e-dee. Oh love-e-doe. My heart is now yours.



"I bet you are quite tired from your travels, Khavi. We prepared a room for you. Sam, honey, will you bring Khavi's things to his room?" She turned to her guest, "Khavi, you may follow Sam if you wish."
"Yes, Ida. I believe I will turn in for the night. Thank you for the lovely evening."
"Thank you, Khavi."
Ida and Sam met again in the kitchen.

Did I tell you that you have nice hair? I didn't think that you would be this fair. Oh love-e-dee. Oh love-e-doe. My heart is now yours.

"Oh, Sam!" And they tango up the stairs.

Running in the white sun into the dappled shadows, Ida hears the squeals of laughter. Falling, falling onto a bed of woodland flowers. Rolling, rolling around and around. She sees his eyes, dark like the night. She smiles as if taken over by a drowsy drug.

Last Night

After a day of uncertainty, this was my night:

it was not a dream....