soft and dri-eyed Radio Station

Well, folks, looks like there so many Anxietites that we had to make a whole radio station to satisfy the needs of Americans dealing with this social scourge.  Enjoy the current line up:

6:00-6:30 Wake up to Burl!  All Burl Ives all the time.  Well, for 30 minutes.  Get your day started whimsically with happy folk songs sung by Burl!
6:30-7:00  The Public Domain Review.  Our girl Jennie reads aloud titles of interest to her from the wonderful Public Domain Review.
6:30-9:30 Good mood  Get in a good mood with sounds of silence and comforting voices and words to get through rush hour.
9:30-10:30 Hour Massage.  Hulga Hildebrande gives guests an hour long massage.  Use this as inspiration to finally make that appointment!
10:30-12:30  Rox talks Socks: Roxanne Pinolo muses about her favorite socks, brands, colors, patterns.  Long, short, fuzzy, sleek, no stocking will be ignored and every stitch will be discussed.
12:30-12:45 Short Order. Short Order cook, Winston Marsalis, plays the griddle with sizzle sizzle.
12:45-1:00  Open Mic. We are currently auditioning for soft, tender and kind voices to read pretty and relaxing poetry for this spot.
1:00-3:00  Do I have a yarn for you:  Andi Tenderheart's talk show of her yen for yarn.  Join her in this feel good session about all she knows about yarn.  She will talk about soft, fluffy, round pom poms for hours.
3:00-3:15 Gas stations of yore:  Old timers are interviewed about the history of their local stations.  Let the creaky voices swept away in reverie massage those nerve endings that are about 3 feet from your skin by now.  No stories with over-emotion will be aired.
3:15-3:45  Plant-a-day.  Each day learn about a new plant.  With around 400,000 species in the world, we have plenty to talk about.
3:45-4:00 Choppin Broccoli!  ...and cucumbers and carrots and whatever vegetable Chef Pepin wants to chop:
4:00-6:00 ask the calm dude: Dudius Maximus, Chalm Stalward, lends a guiding hand to right us through the storm.  ask him anything.  He is happily the most chillest dude on earth.  And we got him on Soft and dri-eyed Radio Station just for you.

  I can't listen to regular radio at all anymore, I drive in silence.  I still click on the news online, but I can't really take it.  it's a weird addiction I guess.  Do I really need to know all this stuff?  And what can I do to eliminate all this over-stimulation?  -Stressed in Middlesex

Dear Stressed in Middlesex, you are very good to notice that you are overstimulated.  After all anxiety is just a dis-ease of the nervous system.  Your nerves are over active.  You are a sensitive person.  This is okay.  Some day I think we will all look to you as the canary in the coal mine, but I hope we will be proactive rather than reactive.  I think silence is a good start and yes, you must try to avoid regular news.  It's okay to take a break from it.  After all, the inflammatory sells and it just hikes up your shoulders more.  Again, it's okay to take a break. It doesn't mean you have to never know what's going on the in the world forever.  Just remember to back away.  you will see that the big news doesn't really impact your every day life.  I suggest the newspaper, Hushpost, that focuses on good news only and lots of our more cuter, more fuzzier cousins.  It might give you the outlet for your online clicking addiction.  Keep up the good work, but don't over think it.  Roll with it, Calm dude

6:00-7:00  Let's do Sauna!  Jorma Jurgensen gets enthusiastic about Sauna!  Meet his fun and unusual guests that are just as enthusiastic about Sauna as Jorma!
7:00-8:00 My three lizards.  Listen to my three lizards, Rob, Chip and Ernie...you might hear them rustle around, but you can imagine them sitting very still...maybe blinking an eye or smelling with their tongue. Pure heaven.
8:00-10:00 Leon Lavender at night.  nothing unsettling here, only good relaxing vibes and everything lavender. Leon's velvet voice will stroke your hair and make you feel like you are lying your head in your mother's lap. Let it go, let yourself go, slow and low that is the tempo.
10:00-12:00  Nigh-nigh-a-go-go.  Snuggle up in your bed and listen to songs that will comfort the child in you.  A wide collection of nursery songs to lull you to sleep.
12:00-3:00  Insomniac Quest. For you insomniacs out there, here is a strange odyssey of one man who travels during the night whilst everyone is asleep.  Can you keep up or will it put you into dreamland?  One can only hope.
3:00-6:00  Warm Fuzzy.  DJ Fuzzy spins white noise, sweet humming (never creepy), silence, a collection of empowering quotes read by famous voices (Yes, Vincent Price is one of them) float in between more white noise, radio waves and silence.