cool. I'm a folk artist.

what did you say last night?

You said Mom, my nose is broken
after I listened to you trying to breathe out of it.
you get so proud of your four well colored pictures in the purple dragon gallery
you say a lot of things now that are tokens of gold and I can't remember them all.
you count down the days until we can all be together. Every day you ask if it's the last day
you say i love you, you're so beautiful all smashed together in a whispery voice because you think i need to hear that.
What did you say last night?  I'm typing all this out to get to the memory of it.
Something about milk?
you are a golden nugget of truth, you are
maybe I will remember it later

Obsv #9...hundred

First Cicada song heard tonight! Ree-er Ree-er Ree-er!

yes indeed

She's walkin, yes indeed
 not yet talkin....
I have a new toddler in my life, just as my eldest is ushered into whatever is after toddlerhood....walksgoodhood

Noodle eater

Masaaki Hiroi makes these really adorable Edo spinning tops.
                                       I want this one.

observation #788

First lightning bug sighting of the year...we tried to catch some but they were too high, too fast and too few.

sum of me

And then there’s me.  

A massive ball of, “just take me to the sanitarium."

from, Excuse me while I Lather my child in this toxic death cream

Happy Birthday little 1

mista emoto

i need to figure out
emotional robot skin
that i can turn on and off
right now my emotions are so messy and big
it's an out of control amoeba
my flagella's are 50 feet long

For you

Four, you!

Happy day to you my little love!

Dreamy?

Sometimes I feel so sorry for the teens of the mid to late 50s.

Howdy.  Does he look like he's saying howdy?

Look a little closer.  Is your heart throbbing?

Oh hey!  Look at me, I'm Pat Boone, on a date with a drawing of a girl swooning over me.

Poodle skirt girls everywhere are passed out and drooling

Hey there.  See me peeking out behind this red bar with information about my record on it?  Yeah, I'm spying on you.

Here comes Patty!!!!

See?  I'm virile and my loins are like a horn of plenty.

Come eat at my futuristic restaurant.  You will be served by robots.

This is what the teens of the 90s like and I'm going to give it to them, right in the eye.  Teen idol forever.

dunce dance

Everytime I look at you, i do the dunce dance
Everytime I kiss you, I do the dunce dance
Everytime I kiss you, I do the dunce dance
Everytime I love you, duh, duh, duh, dunce dance
dunce dance
dunce dance
dunce dance
dance
dance
dance
dance

When I'm in the light of day
I want you to go way
Lance
Then the night turns to strobe lights
and I begin the dunce dance

Everytime I look at you, i do the dunce dance
Everytime I kiss you, I do the dunce dance
Everytime I kiss you, I do the dunce dance
Everytime I love you, duh, duh, duh, dunce dance
dunce dance
dunce dance
dunce dance
dance
dance
dance
dance

The next day I wake up
and it's come this
Chris
Later on the bass is thumping strong
I succumb to the dunce dance

Everytime I look at you, i do the dunce dance
Everytime I kiss you, I do the dunce dance
Everytime I kiss you, I do the dunce dance
Everytime I love you, duh, duh, duh, dunce dance
dunce dance
dunce dance
dunce dance
dance
dance
dance
dance
(2x)

Pancake ring

I just want anything
I just want anything
I just want anything
pancake ring

Oo diddy Oo diddy Oo di do
Oo diddy Oo diddy Oo di do
Oo diddy Oo diddy Oo di do
Oo di do
pancake ring

I just want anything
I just want anything
I just want anything
pancake ring

Oo diddy Oo diddy Oo di do
Oo diddy Oo diddy Oo di do
Oo diddy Oo diddy Oo di do
Oo di do
pancake ring

I just want anything
I just want anything
I just want anything
pancake ring

Oo diddy Oo diddy Oo di do
Oo diddy Oo diddy Oo di do
Oo diddy Oo diddy Oo di do
Oo di do
pancake ring

soft and dry-eyed

The radio program determined not to make you cry
For those of you with your shoulders up to your ears and teeth gritting like a monkey with cymbals, this program is for you.  We  have thought of everything and want you to be worry-free.  You will not hear any sad or angry music and absolutely no nostalgic music that will make you remember anything from your past.  You will not hear any news that will cause alarm.  Only funny stories and only funny stories that will not make you cry.

This program is artfully directed by one of your own.  An original softy since the day she was born.  Andi Tenderheart understands getting verklempt at a commercial, choked up at news story, teary-eyed at a politician's promise, enraged at an discourteous shopper, destroyed by an incompetent driver....

Tread softly, better yet, just softly, forget about treading.  It's too close to dreading.
We won't talk about death, we won't talk about life.  Some days we will barely talk at all.

We also understand when you need to hear no music at all.  We all know how emotive this medium can be and sometimes, it's just too much.

No nature music.  We understand it can be unsettling to hear a thunderstorm that has no ending.

Want guided meditation? We got it by the boat load (a boat that is in smooth sailing waters, mind you).  We recommend not listening to these while driving a vehicle.

Speaking of vehicles, we also have spots that will calm your road rage during your commute.

White noise

No noise

Silence

We are in the process of creating signals to warn listeners of potential anxiety inducing triggers:
A short fun hum= potential nostalgic song (we can't please everyone)
A soft shhh=story about animals (these are usually fun, but one never knows)

Absolutely siren free music

So welcome to soft and dry-eyed
Focusing on Ataraxia, Equanimity and Inner Peace.

song list

Pretty Shitty
Tiny Stripper
Hungry Man (Extract the Brownie)
Basically, I love you
Dad Fantasy
Brow Off, It's On!
Lady with the Tall Hair
Welcome to the Suckhouse
Dusker Hue
TWA kids
Basically, I'm sorry
Pretty petty
fart city
I came when he came

new new band name

Cocoon Rats!

And rats and rats and rats!!  (Thank you Blood Brothers!)

Oh them Cocoon Rats!
They're at it again
hiding under all the layers of silk
uh huh

Oh them Cocoon Rats!
Ready to pounce
waiting for a mouse to milk
ooo yeah

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aeoau ba
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play all those notes up there ^^^^^
a fun kaleidoscope of notes

Winkler puppets

Pattern

I love Patty Duke

watercolor days

watercolor mornings
when a friend comes up with a perfect plan to curate
and another finds a revelating new title for everything you do
watercolor days
when the sky is leaded gray laden with soppy clouds and blots and drips
makes pinks and purples and yellows and reds and greens pop through the radiating sorrow
the sadness that comforts, the bright spots that energize

70's nap

A new band

Synthia Saiser and Ronald Raygun are the Joymagnets!

We spazz, we gyrate
We galactate
Synths the milky one
Rons the magnetic one
Each night we string our strings in a web and ping, ping
Striking each note, like, ting, ting
Funny little spiders making music
Each night we string our strings all through the house
making joyful noise drawing you closer and closer

Synthia Saiser presents:

Lady with the tall hair

she's gone now, been a few years
la la la lady with the tall hair
she was my first spy mission
my first detection intuition
it was failed
la la la lady with the tall hair
she's no bride of Frankenstein
still i like to call her mine
in that old dimension
la la la lady with the tall hair
is gonna electrify you
with her sa-sa-super shampoo
get your hair to climb-a higher!
with her sa-sa-super dryer
 (ball hair babes!  ball hair babes!)

So now she sleeps
the forever dream
My that was fun
watching you wipe your poodle's bum
Thank you for being a kid's daydream
Thank you for being a spa-spa-spa-spooky lady
I'm talking about you, my paranoiac neighbor lady

 (interlude)

la la la lady with the tall hair
la la la lady with the tall hair
she's electrified me (and she'll shock you too)
with sa-sa-super shampoo
la la la lady with the tall hair
and her sa-sa-suped-up sa-sa-super dryer
got my hair a-climbin' higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher!
Yow!

To my dear children

You must know this about your mother:
I like being a gooey data processor

Moog Relief Fund

I don't think I have to tell you how wonderful it would be if more people had Moogs.  I'm starting a Kickstarter fund in order to help all those in need of Moogs.  People shouldn't have to explain themselves or write a 2 or 1 page essay about the reasons for wanting or needing a Moog.  Let's make it happen! Let's give these people what they want!  Moogs!

Personal story.  I really need a Moog.  My life would be better if I had one.  I could possibly start making music.  I don't have to tell you this and I shouldn't have to!  I just need one.  Soon.  Please. Just give me one.  Okay?

Now don't let anyone else grovel, just send Moogs to this fund to get me and who ever else needs a Moog.  Thank you.

Or!  Please send Vibes to my other Kickstarter: Vibes Relief Fund.
Yeah, I need vibes too.  Don't ask!

this could be me

this could be me too

Send Moogs, Vibes or Keyboard Guitars to:
Synthia Saiser
P.O. Box 77
KCMO 64111

Oooo yeah you're amazing

I love this song and it makes me laugh.  Am I the only that can picture Gilda Radner doing a cover of this?!

with additional guest Flying Pig?


Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow!!!
Unbelievable!!!

Useful links for me, a parent

So you don't have to freak-out about causing an outbreak at daycare: AAP inclusion/exclusion list for daycare
My go to for breastfeeding and beginning solid food questions: KellyMom
Yes I've had to call poison control, so far 3 times: (Windex spritz, Benedryl crumbs and rubber tree chew): American Association of Poison Control Centers  -The nurse has always been very nice and calming and offers to call back in an hour. I accepted on all three calls even though she assured me that my child was probably fine. He was.

Pattern