New Year's Eve Parties from the past

funny

SEE (copy/paste or click "funny"):  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4&feature=related

Shhh, Shhh

It's, oh, so quiet
shh,shh
It's, oh, so still
shh,shh
You're all alone
shh, shh
And so peaceful until...

You fall in love
Zing boom
The sky up above
Zing boom
Is caving in
Wow bam
You've never been so nuts about a guy
You wanna laugh you wanna cry
You cross your heart and hope to die
'Til it's over and then

Shhh, Shhh
It's nice and quiet
Shhh, Shhh
But soon again
Shhh, Shhh
Starts another big riot

You blow a fuse, zing boom
The devil cuts loose, zing boom
So what's the use, wow bam
Of falling in love

It's, oh, so quiet
It's, oh, so still
You're all alone
And so peaceful until...

You ring the bell, bim bam
You shout and you yell, hi ho ho
You broke the spell
Gee, this is swell you almost have a fit
This guy is "gorge" and I got hit
There's no mistake this is it

'Til it's over and then
It's nice and quiet
Shhh, Shhh
But soon again
Shhh, Shhh
Starts another big riot

You blow a fuse
Zing boom
The devil cuts loose
Zing boom
So what's the use
Wow bam
Of falling in love

The sky caves in
The devil cuts loose
You blow blow blow blow blow your fuse ahhh
When you've fallen in love
Ssshhhhhh...

Lyrics from Bjork's renamed cover of the Betty Hutton song "Blow a Fuse"

Odds, No Ends

Hot & Cold

Freaky Dream

I was in a class. Etan and Mayhew were in the class too. I had to sit by obnoxious boys, while Etan and Mayhew got to sit together across the room. One boy kept touching me and I kept telling him not to touch me--making a scene to draw attention to this debacle so the teacher would make him stop. Then I ended up being in a back yard. Suddenly, enormous raccoons and other animals I can't remember were running towards me then bounding past me. I walked towards where they were running from. My mom was there. My mom said that there was a baby bear by the fence. I couldn't see it at first, then it became visable. The back yard was my mom's back yard, but not really. Then I was inside my mom's house that really wasn't her house. The baby bear was in there and I felt safe to try to pet it, since I knew the mother bear wasn't in the house. Next, I'm in another class. I don't remember anyone I know being there. Somehow some huge Asian looking man or beast of a man was lying on the floor like a skin puddle and ate Bjork's head, then ate her body right in front of the class. One boy was trying to escape and I followed him. We both were pushing through all of these unecessary obstacles. We escaped and ran out into the night, down a shadowy, grassy hill and onto lighted streets. I was back in class again. I was worried and didn't want to be there. The teacher was trying to consol us. I told her that I really liked Bjork. She kind of laughed lovingly as if saying, I know you did. I felt an urgency to get out of class. I told the teacher that I was leaving. She was trying to dissuade me, but then said, "They keep telling me a man is in the hall waiting and I keep asking them what man? What man?!" That was it. I was leaving. My sisters, Nilya and Therimew happen to be in the class this time. I grabbed them and we all left. We found out later that the teacher had been eaten by the man beast. Then I was at my house that really wasn't my house. Etan, Mayhew, Therimew and I were in the T.V. room. I was worried and felt like this creature was coming after me. We were all standing up and pacing around. Mayhew grabbed a silver necklace with a asian style pendant that was hanging by a nail on the wall. That necklace had something to do with the man beast. I grabbed it from him and took another amulate type thing, I think it was a pentagram, and went into the living room to place the items together on the floor. As soon as I did that, I looked out the window to see a man in a black hooded monk-style gown walking, almost floating, very fast up our street. I watched him turn up our driveway. He began knocking on the door. I was sure I was doomed. He knew we were in the house. He had a key! He began to unlock it, but then his action waned and he left. He was giving me a message that he could come and get me anytime. Not this time, though. I ran into the T.V. room to tell the others that he had a key. Apparently, this was modus operandi for this man beast, because after I said, "He had a key!," Etan said in affirmation, "That's just the thing." As that is what the others reported before they were eaten.

Coaching Biology

My high school biology teacher, Mr. Aldridge, wanted us to call him "Coach," even though he was no longer a coach.

I don't remember how I came across this, but I found out he had a phone line with recorded Christian-themed stories. I called it church chat after Dana Carvey's SNL Church Lady show. The recording always began with his breath-held, nasal greeting, "He-llo, this is Coach." I used to call it all the time to abuse call-waiting so the phone wouldn't ring and clue my parents in on my late night conversations.

For a couple of classes he brought a puppet, whom also starred in his recorded church chat messages, to show off his ventriliquist skills. I don't remember if it was school or god related; I think I was in shock that a bunch of sophmores and juniors were being treated to a freaky puppet show. I took a basketball camp with him when I was in eighth grade, a venue where he would aptly go by Coach Aldridge, I think he found a way to haul out the dummy on that occasion--after I won the free-throw contest. Yes, I'm invoking my inner Al Bundy.

Sometimes he would stand up in front of the class with a yard stick and mindlessly pretend to strum it like a guitar while he coached biology. Inevitably, he would do a quick double strum and finish it off with a wide circular arm thrust that left his hand floating over his head.

Students could choose or were assigned different animals (snakes, a cayman, a chinchilla, fish, rats, a tarantula to name a few) to basically clean up after. Everyone but Ollie Stevens had a partner. Ollie had the tarantula--he had to wear a special glove to handle the arachnid. My partner, Darl, and I were in charge of the goldfish. We cleaned the tank. Coach told Darl and I how to siphon the water, but we weren't listening. I knew how to siphon another way from watching my neighbors empty their water bed with a garden hose. I sucked on the clear plastic tube and watched the nasty fish water go into my mouth. Everyone at my table and Coach witnessed this. One student squealed, Darl laughed and Ollie just shook his head. Coach was beside himself and asked me why I didn't use the other technique. I just stood over the sink spitting. I didn't really care, it got the job done.

One time a rat was missing from its cage. While I wasn't listening in class, I gazed at our fish tank that sat on our table. All of the sudden, I noticed a weird looking, pink, long thing was bobbing up and down. And then I noticed pink feet. I blurted out, "There's the rat!"

When we got to the evolution section of the biology book, he informed us that he wouldn't be teaching us that because he didn't believe in it. Everyone else in class was relieved to skip a chapter, but Ollie Stevens and I were bummed. We plucked off some beetles stuck on needles from Coach's insect collection and threw them in the trash to get back at him.

My Blog Is An Awesome Blog!

IT REIGNS FROM HEAVEN ABOVE!

sketchy ladies

Goodbye, Bettie Page

1923-2008

Winter Color Plate and Ghost

1 Corylus avellana
2 Sycopsis sinensis
3 Sarcococca hookeriana var. humilis
4 Helleborus x hybridus
5 Euonymus fortunei ‘Silver Queen’
6 Pulmonaria rubra ‘Redstart’
7 Adonis ‘Fukujukai’
8 Cornus sanguinea ‘Midwinter Fire’
9 Arum italicum subsp. italicum ‘Marmoratum’
10 Leucojum vernum
11 Iris unguicularis
12 Iris ’Katharine Hodgkin’
13 Lonicera x purpusii
14 Mahonia x media ‘Charity’
15 Juniperus drupacea
16 Hamamelis mollis
17 Daphne bholua ‘Jacqueline Postill’
18 Crocus tommasinianus
19 Prunus davidiana ‘Alba’
20 Galanthus ‘S Arnott’
21 Erica x darleyensis ‘Furzey’
22 Betula albosinensis var. septentrionalis
23 Garrya x issaquahensis
24 Viburnum x bodnantense ‘Dawn’
25 Eranthis hyemalis
26 Erica x darleyensis ‘Silberschmelze’
27 Bergenia ‘Sunningdale’

-Courtesy of the Royal Horticultural Society (www.rhs.org.uk)

Curvist Face

Flip-Flap

First Snow/Last Day of November

Blog Parade

Pilgrimage

Take a turn, take a turn
Take our fortune, take our fortune
They called the clip a two-headed cow
Your hate clipped and distant, your luck, pilgrimage
Rest assured this will not last, take a turn for the worst
Your hate clipped and distant, your luck a two-headed cow
The pilgrimage has gained momentum
Take a turn, take a turn
Take our fortune, take our fortune
Speakin' in tongues, it's worth a broken lip
Your hate clipped and distant, your luck, pilgrimage
Rest assured this will not last, take a turn for the worst
Your hate clipped and distant, your luck a two-headed cow
The pilgrimage has gained momentum
Take a turn (take a turn), take a turn (take a turn)
Take our fortune (take a turn), take our fortune
Pilgrimage, pilgrimage
Speakin' in tongues, it's worth a broken lip
Your hate clipped and distant, your luck
Rest assured this will not last, take a turn for the worst
Your hate clipped and distant, your luck two-headed
The pilgrimage has gained momentum
Take a turn (take a turn), take a turn (take a turn)
Take our fortune (take a turn), take our fortune
Pilgrimage, pilgrimage
The pilgrimage has gained momentum
Take a turn (take a turn), take a turn (take a turn)
Take our fortune (take a turn), take our fortune (take a turn)
Take a turn (take a turn), take a turn (take a turn)
Take our fortune (take a turn), take our fortune



Lyrics by Berry/Buck/Mills/Stipe from the album, Murmur.

ConsPIRACY?

VS.

Somali pirating is a lucrative business these days. This year has seen a surge of more than 75% hijackings this year, with most of these unconventional transactions ending in a sizable paycheck. Last Saturday or Sunday, the exact day has yet to be established, the pirates captured a Saudi supertanker, the Sirius Star, with a cargo of crude oil in the Indian Ocean. This feat has led to two new personal records with the Sirius Star being the 1)largest vessel aquired and the Indian Ocean being the 2)farthest out-to-sea pursuit for these modern day buccaneers!


Oddly enough, the ship was found today anchored in Harardhere, a pirate stronghold in Somalia.


This morning, Somalis woke to an enormous ship near their shores. "As usual, I woke up at 3 a.m. and headed for the sea to fish, but I saw a very, very large ship anchored less than three miles off the shore," said Abdinur Haji, a fisherman.


The Somali pirates' most contentious plundering to date is the Ukrainian ship, the Faina, with tons of war goodies in the Gulf of Aden.




Who will buy my sweet weaponry, two tanks for a trillion pennies?
Ripe Strawberries! Ripe Strawberries!



Since September, US Naval, NATO, EU and Indian warships have surrounded the captive ship and it's crew so that the pirates can't unload the warfare booty.


I wonder how long this will take? Will they suppress the pirates in battle? Or wait out the heavily armed cargo until the pirates receive their ransom? For conspiracy fun, wouldn't this be a good way to transfer weapons to an unsanctioned country? To pretend that pirates are confiscating weapons?

Update 11.18.08 from MSNBC: Somali pirates hijacked an Iranian cargo ship in the Gulf of Aden — their seventh ship in 12 days. This is freakin' insane!

Update 11.20.08 from MSNBC: The Great Creation, a Hong Kong-flagged chemical tanker seized on Sept. 18, was released after a $1.67 million ransom was paid. The Genius, another Hong Kong-flagged chemical tanker which was hijacked Sept. 26, was also returned in exchange for an unknown sum. Earlier this week, pirates released the Stolt Valor, a Japanese chemical tanker after paying hijackers $2.5 million. An associate of the gang holding that ship, the MV Faina(the ship with military arsenal), said they rejected a $2.5 million ransom offer this week. "The pirates and a broker met in the forest(!) between Galkayo and Haradheere ... but the pirates stood by their demand for $8 million," the associate, Hussein Hassan, told Reuters.
Where will all this money go?
Consequently, the British are advising against paying ransom citing that doing so only encourages more hijacking.
For pete's sake, who was the first one to encourage them? Jean Ping, chairman of the African Union Commission, said the increasing piracy was being aggravated by the country's feuding politicians and "a clear indication of the further deterioration of the situation with far-reaching consequences for this country, the region and ... international community." (And no, the red does not mean that Jesus is speaking...)


Here they come! There's nothing we can do to stop them!



Pirate jungle gym




Don't mess, man. Really, don't even mess.

Mood Modification

Jeffrey R. Holmstead is a Prick

Holmstead, left, shillin'.

Jeffrey R. Holmstead -- who helped initiate the rule change (to allow coal-fired power plants, oil refineries and other major polluters to be built near national parks and wilderness areas) while chief of EPA's air and radiation office and who now heads the environmental strategies group at the law firm Bracewell & Giuliani (You picked a winner, jerks) -- said it is unsurprising that regional officials would have a position different from that at headquarters.
"The headquarters perspective tends to be much broader (and deranged)," Holmstead said, adding that the Bush administration has pursued air pollution reductions but has seen its proposals tied up in court (What?! Really?! When? Oh, poor helpful and green Bush Administration! They are just trying to heal the planet, dammit!). "Air quality in national parks, in particular, has very little to do with an individual source. (?!) What you really want to do is lower air pollution in that region." Yeah, by localizing and not broadening you git!
Regional EPA officials, he added, want "every weapon in their arsenal" to reduce pollution from a given source: "Regions are focused on a permit for a specific plant. Often what they focus on is anything that gives them leverage." Over pollution? I can not wait until Bush is out of the office.

Fuck you, Ayman al-Zawahri

Sweet Sabotage!

I'll see your Lewis and raise you a Martin.

Blog takeover courtesy of http://freethehumanbeings.blogspot.com/ --check it out!