Tuesday, December 6, 2022

Things I wish SNL and Documentary Now! would do

 SNL:

a skit where kah-kah-kay-ye is watching infowars and it's all making a lot of sense and he starts breaking down bat shit crazy shit with his entourage a la Black Dynamite in the restaurant.  Old intolerant tropes and newer unreal shit that is actually being proposed in our time and shit that has not yet been thought up, but probably will in the future.  Linking Dr. Seuss and Soros and Golda Meier and Jamie Lee Curtis to the illuminati and the National Treasure franchise. Is Nick Cage secretly Jewish? The Coppola's are not Italian.  Are Italians really Jewish?  Do Italians exist? Intrigued by Ed Harris' character in the second installation, they decide he is the key to everything.  They scour his movies (bumping uglies--Sweet Dreams) and his wikipedia for clues.  He played college football with Eric Holder, he had disdain for Elia Kazan for naming names and blacklisting his friends and never apologizing.  Bingo.  

Now I’m wondering if the movie should be Amsterdam.

Documentary Now!:

an episode about a woman (Fred), renowned for being a Galactagogue and her exquisite milk froth that is done in Chef's Table fashion.  We see her building a fire in the beginning, beautiful forest shots of her curating the wood, chopping it so gently in an idyllic farmscape, coaxing the flame, the crackling of fire, all as she waxes poetic about the fire and her journey.  She milks an animal and starts to warm the milk over the fire--this is seen in cutaways from inane critic(s?) (Bill) lauding her preternatural instinct for milk and frothing genius.

She is seen wearing a white coat and hairnet dreamily bumbling around vats of milk in her home lab.  (Why does she look like Fred’s Penny Marshall in my mind?) Enormous kettles are on industrial hot plates, she has to climb a ladder to peer inside and takes out a frother from her lab coat pocket to test the frothing capability of the milky brew.  Different mammalian milk in different kettles.  She explains the complexities of a mink's milk with a sheep's milk and with human milk.

She still lactates.  This is really where it all started.  Becoming a mother.  A photo of her in the 70s with the Farrah Fawcett hair--probably  farrah fawcet body with Fred's face talking on a telephone.--big glasses, 70s sweater, no bra--pam dawberish too?  Lots of babies.  She had a lot of babies to continue to lactate.  It was an obsession.  Loves the electrical feeling of letting down.  Would sneak away to pump between breast feeds.  -Her desire to feel engorged.  She started making dishes with her milk, images explain that there were a lot of spit takes upon her revelation to guests that they were indeed consuming her breast milk.

Critics are given her frothed milk masterpiece and after their glowing reports of orgasmic enlightenment they are told it's her breast milk--spit take.

She is always going around and frothing people's drinks, splattering it on them.  Just a touch more, you need some froth.  They are in awe.

At her storefront, a small walkup shop with a row of teats expressing a drop of milk for the sign. Milky Way, Galaxy, Mamma from heaven, Spit up? Soupe au lait?...idk yet...set up like an ice cream shop, you can pick which kind of mammalian milk..she dips a ladle in, draws the milk and starts the scientific process--lab looking kitchen--in addition to her own breast milk as a choice, there is also human male breast milk in the selection.  Men can express milk too. We see her enthralled as she froths.  She shows the perfect froth with a spoon, hypnotizing.  How does she procure these different milks?

Ends with the fire scene with splices of her in an underground animal ring bartering for access to milk a new mother echidna. She sips her echidna milk creation and spits it out.


Ok, Seth Meyers, work your magic.  Thanks.


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