Advice column from a Dorothy Parker Fan

Today is the story about how to be a girl and to be a girl is to be crazy.  Your feelings are irrational and your physical maladies are instabile.  Your emotions are diseased and disabled.  Doctors say find solace in Pills.  So my girls, that's what was told of me.  Don't listen unless it is implicitly dire.  I am but a normal lass whom cries easy and feels deeply.  Please tread gingerly yet determindly. I love you all so dearly.  My sympathies, A